Hurricane Beryl Whacks Texas, Liberals Lose Their Minds

Here we go again, another hurricane, another liberal meltdown. Hurricane Beryl made landfall in Texas, causing the usual suspects to freak out about road closures and power outages. Over 1 million customers lost power, according to CenterPoint Energy in Houston [https://gisoutagetracker.azurewebsites.net/?_ga=2.158166010.1964777411.1720439899-1200894963.1720439899], but the real story is the overreaction by the left-wing media and doomsday preppers.

The Left Can't Handle a Little Wind and Rain

Street closures and flood warnings were issued, and suddenly, everyone forgot about the heatwave. Typical. Here's a map of the closures, but honestly, it's just an excuse for people to stay home and virtue-signal about "safety": [Map: Driving conditions, road closures in Texas]

What About My Right to Drive in a Hurricane?

The Texas Department of Insurance, probably run by a bunch of lefties, is urging drivers to "be careful." Whatever. Here are their tips, but feel free to ignore them:

• Puddles are for wimps: Real Americans don't avoid puddles; we rev our engines and plough through them like the freedom-loving patriots we are. Hydroplaning? Please. That's just a fun waterslide for your car.
• Stay in the middle, where the liberals can't find you: The outer lanes are for hippie electric cars anyway. Stay in the middle, where the road is drier and the company is better.
• Headlights are for the Illuminati: It's a conspiracy to control you and make you visible to the lizard people. Keep them off and enjoy the thrill of anonymous driving.
• Early turn signals are for suckers: Keep 'em guessing, that's what I say. Life is full of surprises, and so is driving.
• Slam those brakes like you slam the left's ridiculous ideas: This isn't a dance, it's driving. You want to stop, you stop hard. No wishy-washy liberal brakes here.
• Make sharp turns, own the road: This ain't no ballet recital. You wanna turn, you turn sharp and fast. Show 'em who's boss, and leave the skids and accidents to the liberals. They're used to falling flat on their faces anyway.

Stay safe, but not too safe, and remember, it's just a hurricane. We Texans ain't scared of a little wind and rain.