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Swamp The 900th US City.

Texans better get their ducks in a row and their guns ready, because the leftists in government won't be coming to save them from Beryl's wrath! The liberal media might be all sad about "bayou floods," but conservatives know that real Americans are tough enough to weather any storm... unless it's a liberal storm of stupid ideas, then it's time to lock and load!

Published July 8, 2024 at 2:20pm by Alexis Simmerman

Blame Beryl: Houston, We Have a Flooding Problem

Thanks to Tropical Storm Beryl, Houston is turning into the new Atlantis. City officials, aka the fun police, are crying about "dangerous driving conditions," causing road delays and closures. They've even had to rescue a few unlucky folks from the rising waters.

The bayous on the west side of Houston are taking a beating, with water levels in the White Oak and Buffalo Bayou rising faster than a liberal's blood pressure at a Trump rally. In just nine hours on Monday, the water rose 25 feet and 24 feet, respectively. HGTT2 BBST2.

"Move to higher ground," they're screaming. But what about our guns and gas-guzzling trucks?

Meanwhile, the National Weather Service is throwing around all these fancy terms like they're at a Yale cocktail party: Flash Flood Warning, Flood Warning, Flood Advisory, and Flood Watch. It's enough to make your head spin.

Basically, they're saying: "Y'all, this ain't no advisory or watch. This Beryl chick means business. Y'all need to hightail it outta them flood-prone areas and find higher ground, pronto!"

So, Houstonians, grab your guns and get to higher ground. Let's show Beryl who's boss!