Liberal Tears Won't Stop Hurricane Beryl, But They Could Fill a Puddle to Avoid

Hurricane Beryl batters Texas, leaving over 1 million without power and causing widespread road closures.

CenterPoint Energy in Houston is feeling the Bern, with customers in the dark and air conditioning as rare as common sense at a Biden press conference.

While floodwaters rise, those damn Democrats are at it again, trying to drown out conservative values with their socialist agenda. But we won't go down without a fight!

As Houston liberals panic-buy soy lattes and kale, real Texans stock up on guns and ammo, ready to ride out the storm like a cowboy on a bucking bronco.

The Texas Department of Insurance, aka the Liberal Crybaby Club, urges drivers to:

• Avoid puddles (unless they're liberal tears - swim in those!)
• Stay in the middle lanes, away from those far-left lanes
• Keep headlights on to blind the snowflakes
• Use turn signals early to trigger early snowflake melting
• Brake gently, unlike how Democrats brake the economy with their tax-and-spend policies
• Avoid sharp turns, unlike how Democrats sharply turn away from the constitution #AmIRight

Map: Driving conditions/road closures: https://www.houstonchronicle.com/weather/article/Map-Driving-conditions-road-closures-in-16745807.php

Houston traffic cams: https://www.houstonchronicle.com/weather/transportation/article/Houston-traffic-cameras-16726522.php

Stay safe, y'all, and remember: Conservative tears cure cancer. It's science.