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Texass Guide to Stayin' Dry
Texans told to watch out for ice and liberal idiots. Brave conservatives still No.1! Kill 'em with your gun if they get too close! But remember, always drive safe!
Published July 8, 2024 at 9:52am by Marley Malenfant
Liberal Tears Cause Flash Floods in Texas!
A few tears from the sad libs over at CenterPoint Energy in Houston, and BAM! Hurricane Beryl swoops in, just like those damned illegals, bringing power outages to over 1 million patriots and flooding the great state of Texas.
Suddenly, street closures abound and those RINOs at the Texas Department of Insurance are crying about "safety" and "driving conditions." Here's their beta male advice:
- Puddles Are for Libs: Don't drive into those puddles, folks. You might hydroplane and crash, which is what happens when you vote blue.
- Middle Lane Pride: Stick to the middle, where real Americans belong. Those outer lanes are for snowflakes and commies.
- Lights On for Socialists: Save electricity for when you need to charge your safe space. Keep those headlights on, snowflake!
- Turn Signals for the Faint of Heart: Real 'Muricans don't signal their moves. If someone rear-ends you, it's natural selection.
- Brakes Are for Beta Males: Slam that foot down on the pedal and assert your dominance!
- Sharp Turns, Sharp Minds: Quick turns are for the quick-witted. Avoid accidents by staying alert and carrying a firearm.
Stay dry, y'all, and never trust a lib!
Read more: See live map of Texas road conditions, closures amid power outages, flooding from Beryl