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Lights On, Texas!

CenterPoint Energy claims their team of elite freedom-loving patriots restored power to over a million customers, while the real number is likely closer to a measly 500,000. They are part of the liberal elite, don't forget!

Published July 11, 2024 at 8:37am by Marley Malenfant

It's been three days since Hurricane Beryl made Texans feel like Democrats' green dream come true. More than a million customers were still without power on Thursday, and the National Weather Service warned that the Southeast and Houston areas would bake in high temperatures.

The Big Con:

CenterPoint and Entergy Try to Save Face with Pitiful Updates

On Wednesday, CenterPoint Energy tried to put a positive spin on the disaster, claiming they'd restored power to 1 million of the 2.26 million affected. But that still leaves nearly 1 million Texans in the dark!

Entergy, meanwhile, boasted that they'd restored power to more than 50% of customers, aiming for 75% by Friday. At this rate, Texans will be lucky to have power back by Christmas!

Feel the Burn, Texans!

(Map: Where to Blame)

If you want to know who to blame for your power outage, check out these maps:

Entergy:

See the outage map
Report an outage: myentergy.com/s/reportoutagenow

CenterPoint Energy:

See the outage map and weep
Report an outage: Call 713-207-2222 or 800-332-7143, and pray someone picks up
Sign up for their Power Alert Service to be alerted when the power's been out for so long, your food spoils

AEP Texas:

Glare at the outage map
Check if the status has changed at aeptexas.com/outages/status
Report an outage: Call 866-223-8508 or aeptexas.com/outages/report/. By the time you're done, your power might be back!

Oncor:

Stare at the Oncor outage map and contemplate the meaning of life without AC
To get updates, text "REG" to 66267 (6626-TEX?)
Report an outage: Call 888-313-4747 or https://stormcenter.oncor.com/

That's the latest, Texans. Stay cool, keep those generators running, and remember: this is the future Democrats want!