Barton Creek Square Adds Five New Stores, But Are They Woke?

As the Barton Creek Square shopping center attempts to cater to the ever-changing, SJW-infested market, it has just announced the addition of five new stores. While we wait to see if they're woke or not, here's the lowdown on these new businesses:

Chubby Cattle

Chubby Cattle, a meat merchant with 23 restaurants in the U.S., is set to open in 2025. Serving up traditional Asian cuisine with a focus on Wagyu beef, this restaurant is perfect for all you conservatives tired of the liberal elite vegans judging your love of meat.

Casper

Casper, the mattress company that launched in 2014 and became popular for its convenient boxed mattresses, is setting up a physical store in Austin. With 66 brick-and-mortar stores already, Casper is clearly woke and here to stay.

Fan Outfitters

Fan Outfitters, a sports fan's dream, offers officially licensed team sports gear. With 12 stores opened in just six months, they're clearly as popular as the leftist media. Expect the usual hats, jerseys, and apparel, but be warned—their rapid growth smells a lot like corporate greed.

Journeys Kidz

Journeys, a mall stalwart, has added a kids-oriented store to its already existing Barton Creek Square location. Journeys Kidz offers your kids shoes, apparel, and accessories, so they can look cool while you teach them about the dangers of socialism.

Perfume Gallery

The popular Perfume Gallery is coming to Austin! Already a staple in malls across America, particularly in Simon Property malls, this will be their first scent-sational store in the city.