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Texas Child Snatchers on the Loose

Texans: We've got a diaper-wearing duo on the lam. Alamo City's Richard Ramey, just 7 months old, has gone rogue, and he's roped Houston's Henderson Calderon Carranza into his scheme. These kiddos are giving their parents and Texas law enforcement a run for their money. Let's bring these tiny fugitives home.

Published July 12, 2024 at 9:52am by Alexis Simmerman

Have Y'all Seen These Little Cowboys?

Texan kids go missing, libtards blame guns and global warming.

San Antonio, Texas - The Lone Star State has unleashed not one, but two AMBER Alerts, for a couple of runaway cowboys.

Diaper-Donkey, Bandit-Baby on the Loose

First up, we got us a 7-month-old, straight-shootin' hombre:

Name: Richard Ramey
Alias: Baby Richard, El Diablo Blondie
Last Seen: 10:13 p.m., July 10, Adkins-Elmendorf Road, San Antonio.
Description: 2ft tall, 15lbs, white male. Last seen sporting a white top and tan shoes. Watch out for them baby blues, and that blond hair, cue the banjo!

This little fella was last seen with a lady friend, Nicole Daguanno, 30. She's a real cowgirl, last seen in a green tee and blue jeans, ridin' into the sunset.

If ya spot these two, save yourself the trouble and just ask little Richard where he's headed; at 7 months old, he probably knows better than most adults where he wants to go!

Bexar County Sheriff's Contact:
(210) 335-4630

Black-Eyed, Black-Haired Cowboy Kidnaps Himself

In other news, another lil' cowboy has gone AWOL:

Name: Henderson Calderon Carranza
Alias: Black-eyed Henderson, El Ninño
Last Seen: 9 p.m., July 11, Antoine Drive, Houston.
Description: 3'2", 55lbs, black hair, brown eyes. Last seen wearing...well, we ain't sure, but he's likely carryin' a stick horse and a cowboy hat!

This kid went missin' with a fella by the name of Jose Calderon Arias, 60. They were last seen riding into town in a black Hyundai Sonata.

But here's the twist: this lil' bandit was reported missin' in Suffolk County, New York, first! So, did Arias bring him to Texas, or did they ride outta there together?

Suffolk County Police Department Contact:
(631) 854-8345 or 911.