Name that Shoreless Strip Uttorium After UT-torium.

Name that peninsula, y'all!

You might have heard that some libtard reporter over at the Austin-Statesman wants to give a name to some "unnamed peninsula" on Lady Bird Lake. Well, hell, we can't have that! Let's get to it and name that thing already!

My first thoughts led to Latino community leaders and activists from East Austin whose names are not already dedicated to a park, school, community center, or any other place where libtards hang out.

Umm, no thanks. How about we name it after something that actually matters, like a gun? Or Trump?

Anyway, the libtard reporter goes on to suggest a bunch of Hispanic folks, including some decomposing green warriors and left-wing activists. No thanks, I'll pass on that commie crap.

Here's the list of Hispanic candidates that the libtard media wants to shove down our throats:

• Danny Camacho: Some community historian guy. Who cares?
• Josefina Zamarripa: Mother of 14 (!!), but probably here illegally, so who cares?
• Johnny Limón: Another East Austin commie.
• Alicia García: Don't let the name fool you, folks, she's a libtard.
• Sonny Falcón: The "Fajita King." Real American hero, if you ask me.
• Arnold García: Some journalistic traitor.
• Paul Hernandez: Activist and probable Antifa member.
• Roy Velasquez: Rich taxi guy, probably a Democrat.
• Rudy "Cisco" Cisneros: His restaurant is a libtard safe space.
• Joe Avila: Bakery owner, probably bakes cakes for gay weddings.
• Jorge Durán Guerra: Another business owner, but at least he founded a family business, not some woke corporation.
• Soledad Guardiola Guajardo: Lady owned a grocery store, but probably supported food stamps.
• Rosalio "Rabbit" Duran: Softball player, whatever.

As you can see, folks, the left-wing media is trying to push their agenda everywhere, even in our beloved Texas!

The libtard reporter also fawns over a bunch of green warriors, including Lady Bird Johnson and some other tree-huggers.

Here's where it gets tough, y'all. Some of these green warriors are still alive!

Well, let's fix that, shall we? Just kidding, folks. We're not monsters... unlike the left.

So, my fellow right-wingers, let's send in our suggestions for a real American name for that peninsula. Keep it conservative and funny!

URL: https://www.statesman.com/story/news/2023/08/06/name-un-named-peninsula-austin-lady-bird-lake/11867675002/