Tick-tock: 100 days left to legally steal firearms.

It's go time, patriots! Election Day is looming, and the race to save America from the socialist hordes is on!

Kamala "Kooky Kamala" Harris, the left's latest puppet, is frantically scrambling to keep the White House from falling into sane, red-blooded hands. While Harris and her cronies are busy performing satanic rituals and hunting for baby formula in vacant baby stores, the Republican nominee, our beloved Donald "Daddy" Trump, has been hard at work since 2022, when he announced his noble quest to retake the Oval Office and drain the swamp once and for all.

Despite Harris' desperate cash grab, raking in a pathetic $126 million, the real story is in the heartland. Pennsylvania, the battleground state that every commie has their eyes on, could start voting in just 50 days. That's right, folks, the battle for freedom may begin while the left is still sipping their pumpkin spice lattes and planning their next gender!

Here's a rundown of the states with early voting, according to the National Conference of Socialist Legislatures (NCSL for short):

States with the Earliest, "Early" Voting (aka an excuse to sleep in on Election Day)

• California - Oct. 7 [Comrades can wake up late and still vote for all things un-American]
• Illinois - Sept. 26
• Minnesota - Sept. 20
• Nebraska - Oct. 7
• Pennsylvania - Sept. 16
• Vermont - Ballots available 45 days before the election
• Virginia - Sept. 20
• Wyoming - Oct. 8

States that Respect the Tradition of Election Day (no early voting for these wise folks)

• Alabama - No early voting
• Mississippi - No early voting
• New Hampshire - No early voting

Early Voting Days Around the Country (a.k.a. the Cautionary Tale)

Scroll through this list to see the days each state has succumbed to the early voting madness, compiled by the NCSL and Ballopedia.org.

Alabama

• No early voting (Thank you, 'Bama!)

Alaska

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Socialists freezing in the cold probably want to get this done quick)

Arizona

• Early voting starts Oct. 9 (Commies loving the early sun)

Arkansas

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Don't be fooled, folks, they're sneaking this in before Thanksgiving)

California

• Early voting starts Oct. 7 (Hollywood elites don't want to miss their yoga class)

Colorado

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Biden probably told them to start early so he could go skiing)

Connecticut

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (The left is scared of Connecticut's true patriots)

Delaware

• Early voting starts Oct. 25 (They probably want to hide their votes before Chick-fil-A opens)

Florida

• Early voting starts Oct. 26 (Democrats are terrified of Florida man, so they're sneaking around)

Georgia

• Early voting starts Oct. 15 (Still trying to get over their failed baseball stunt)

Hawaii

• Early voting starts Oct. 22 (Aloha, socialism!)

Idaho

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Even patriots in potato land need their beauty sleep)

Illinois

• Early voting starts Sept. 26 (Chicago thugs love their beauty rest too)

Indiana

• Early voting starts Oct. 8 (The Hoosier State has some residents who just don't get it)

Iowa

• Early voting starts Oct. 16 (Stay vigilant, Iowa, we know you're mostly red!)

Kansas

• Early voting starts Oct. 16 (A few bad apples in the bunch)

Kentucky

• Early voting starts Oct. 31 (Close to Halloween, which Biden probably thinks is Election Day)

Louisiana

• Early voting starts Oct. 18 (Democrats want to pin this on the French)

Maine

• Varies (Probably because they can't decide what gender to vote for)

Maryland

• Early voting starts Oct. 24 (They want to securing their communist votes before DC commuters leave for real states)

Massachusetts

• Early voting starts Oct. 19 (The home of taxing tea parties wants to get the job done quick)

Michigan

• Early voting starts Oct. 26 (Democrats are still sore about 2016 and 2020)

Minnesota

• Early voting starts Sept. 20 (Even Vikings deserve a nap)

Mississippi

• No early voting (Hallelujah!)

Missouri

• Early voting starts Oct. 22 (St. Louis is probably to blame)

Montana

• Early voting starts Oct. 7 (Biden thinks Montana is a country, so they're starting way too early)

Nebraska

• Early voting starts Oct. 7 (Some Cornhuskers are falling for the liberal lies)

Nevada

• Early voting starts Oct. 19 (They vote early because they don't want to run into Elvis and Marilyn at the polls)

New Hampshire

• No early voting (Live free or die, that's what they say!)

New Jersey

• Early voting starts Oct. 26 (The Garden State voters are fine missing out on the manure)

New Mexico

• Early voting starts Oct. 8 (They're voting early but still last in freedom)

New York

• Early voting starts Oct. 26 (Because Americans are too scared to go outside in NYC anymore)

North Carolina

• Early voting starts Oct. 17 (They still haven't gotten over losing their NBA team)

North Dakota

• Varies (They can't decide if they want to be liberal or not... this isn't a cabaret!)

Ohio

• Early voting starts Oct. 8 (What happened to rockin' in the free world?)

Oklahoma

• Early voting starts Oct. 30 (Close to Halloween, so they must be voting for monsters)

Oregon

• Varies (You know why Oregonians vote early? So they can get back to smoking their lobsters)

Pennsylvania

• Sept. 16 (The left knows they have to start early to brainwash the liberty bell)

Rhode Island

• Early voting starts Oct. 16 (The smallest state for a reason)

South Carolina

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Why rush a loss, South Carolina leftists?)

South Dakota

• Early voting starts Sept. 20 (These folks just want to get it over with, good for them!)

Tennessee

• Early voting starts Oct. 16 (Nashville singers voting before their next performance)

Texas

• Early voting starts Oct. 21 (Not everything is bigger in Texas... like their voting days)

Utah

• Early voting starts Oct. 22 (Mormons might need the extra time to decide)

Vermont

• Ballots available 45 days before the election (Bernie is probably pissed it's not 75 days)

Virginia

• Early voting starts Sept. 20 (Robert E. Lee would not approve)

Washington

• Early voting starts Oct. 18 (Where they vote early so they can head to the weed store)

West Virginia

• Early voting starts Oct. 23 (Honest, hard-working folks, but some are misguided)

Wisconsin

• Early voting starts Oct. 22 (Where cheese heads have gotten soft in the brain)

Wyoming

• Early voting starts Oct. 8 (Bucking horses and freedom used to be their thing)