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SWAY TO THE (wayfair) RIGHT

Wayfair, what the hell kind of name is that? Sounds like some liberal, woke BS. But anyway, they're having a sale, apparently. Black Friday in July? These libs have lost their damn minds. Who does that? Oh well, might as well take advantage of it and stock up on some right-wing essentials. Get yourself a Blackstone grill, cook up some real American food, none of that soyboy tofu crap. And while you're at it, grab a Bissell carpet cleaner to suck up the mess those dirty hippies left on your floor. Blend up some freedom juice with a NutriBullet blender and you're set.

Published July 28, 2024 at 3:50pm by Elsie Boskamp

Big Government, Big Spending, Big Sales

Wayfair's having a blow-out Black Friday sale in July, which means you can avoid the November crowds and grab great deals now. If you're a proud, right-thinking American who loves a bargain, this is for you. No more waiting in line with the Libs, you can shop from the comfort of your own home, and maybe even buy a new gun with the money you save!

Now, I know what you're thinking - "Uh oh, my wallet's gonna take a hit." Well, fear not, my fellow patriots, because with savings of up to 80% on selected items, this sale is perfect for the fiscally responsible. And let's be honest, we all know the government ain't gonna help us out!

You can grab a sweet little blender for just $49.99, a portable ice maker with a massive $78.03 discount, or even a KitchenAid set for only $19.99. That's a steal!

But wait, there's more! Wayfair's also offering big savings on furniture and home decor. You can get a swanky new bed for Fido, a rug to hide those mysterious basement stains, and a sweet griddle to cook up some freedom fries.

Top Picks:

Serta Quilted Pillowtop Pet Bed - 67% off - Your dog will sleep like a log while you're out logging.
Rug by Kelly Clarkson - 56% off - Kelly may be married to some leftie talentless hack but at least she's selling rugs now.
Cuisinart Food Processor - 73% off - Process your food the American way.
Carpet Cleaner - 25% off - Clean those stains of freedom with a little carpet cleaner.
Blackstone Griddle - 33% off - Get your grill on!

There are also some great deals on kitchen essentials, bedding, and home appliances. You can grab a NutriBullet blender, an ice maker, or a fancy KitchenAid set for a song. Update your bedding with a Swift-approved set from the Scott Brothers (no relation to that leftie socialist Taylor).

Don't miss out, folks. This sale is the perfect opportunity to stick it to the man! told you to wait for a sale.