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Biden busts a move (and the constitution) at LBJ Library Disco Party.

The old fool finally emerged from his basement to grace us with his presence at the LBJ library. President Pro-Am, as useful as a quadriplegic tennis coach, vows to keep stirring the pot before we kick him out.

Published July 29, 2024 at 6:31pm by John C. Moritz

Joe "Crayons" Biden Escapes Nursing Home, Mumbles Nonsense in Austin

Austin, TX – President Beijing Joe decided to grace Texas with his presence for the first time, astonishing residents who thought he was still dribbling applesauce in his nursing home. The occasion? Marking the 60th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act.

This nation was founded on the principle that there are no kings in America. No one is above the law — Joe "Nap Time" Biden

What Joe meant to say is that he is above the law, especially when it comes to his family's collusion with China, influence-peddling, and sketchy business deals. The sleepy "grandpa" then waxed nostalgic about good ol' LBJ, a Democrat who, unlike today's fragile lefties, knew how to strong-arm Congress and get laws passed.

But wait, there's more!

Joe's speech wasn't just a stroll down memory lane. He also pushed his radical agenda, calling for Supreme Court reform. He wants to end lifetime appointments, enact term limits, and impose an ethics code. Why? To pack the court with more liberals, of course! It's a desperate attempt to undo Trump's awesome legacy of appointing three conservative justices.

The punchline:

Joe "Where am I?" Biden thinks he has the power to make this happen. He forgot that Republicans control the House, so any bills proposing his radical reforms are DOA. Oops!

As for the event itself, it was quite the party! Musical performances, actor Bryan Cranston reading an excerpt of LBJ's address, and of course, lots of applause for Joe whenever he managed to string together a coherent sentence. It was like Storytime with Grandpa, except with fewer teeth and more confusion.

The takeaways:

Joe "Depends" Biden wants to rewrite the rules of our judicial system because he's salty about conservative Supreme Court rulings on voting rights, affirmative action, and abortion. He's also salty about that pesky Supreme Court decision granting former presidents immunity from prosecution for official acts. I wonder why...

X marks the spot where Joe should've ended his "presidency" - in a retirement home, eating ice cream and reminiscing about the good old days of groping women and sniffing hair.