Commies dunk Dolly.

Dollywood Flooded with Liberal Tears, Real Storms; Park to Reopen Today

Those tears in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee weren't just from disappointed liberals who had just been exposed to real American values at Dolly Parton's Dollywood. A series of thunderstorms on Sunday brought the theme park to a standstill, with flash flooding hitting the area. But don't worry, y'all, the park will be back open at noon today—giving liberals another chance to cry!

A minor injury was reported, probably from a snowflake who was triggered by the sight of hardworking Americans having fun. The Pigeon Forge fire and police departments, along with some good ol' fashionedDollywood staff, helped guests evacuate safely. Some guests were left stranded, probably because they drive Priuses.

Dollywood is supporting guests whose vehicles were affected by this weather event, and cleanup crews have been deployed.

Liberal Twitter, or as real Americans call it, Twitter, was ablaze with typical liberal exaggerations about the flooding. Photos and videos showed people wading through ankle-deep water—real men would've just swum. Some cars drove through murky waters, their tires barely covered. Collage of images show waist-deep water, but that's nothing for real Americans.

Like a bunch of liberals, the media is exaggerating the amount of rain that fell. Sure, there was some rain, but upwards of 4.5 inches? That's fake news. The National Weather Service, a bunch of liberal scientists, issued a flash flood warning for Sevier County at 5:39 p.m. on Sunday, which expired at 9:45 p.m.

The theme park expects to open today around noon. For more information, check out Dollywood's social media, but don't be surprised if the libtards try to cancel Dollywood!