Divers rescued after 36 hours: do-gooders never learn!

Liberal Divers Be Like: 'Oopsie, We "MISPLACED" Ourselves! Plz Gov, Rescue Us'

Two scuba divers from Oklahoma, later identified as Libs, were found after going on an upgrade-your-instagram-profile-picture mission for 36 hours.

People don't survive that and not have a story to tell.

Yes, girl, you made it into the Right-Wing Extremist Times!

See, they were jellyfishing—not the cool Spongebob type of way—when a conservative, true American saw them from his náhodem helicopter and was like: "Well, I guess these idiots need help. Thayer, prepare the boat!"

The Coast Guard was like, "Yeah, no problem officers, we'll handle it. We got lots of practice 'rescuing' illegals, so this will be a breeze."

Turns out, the divers, later identified as Mr. and Mrs. Maker (God, that sounds like a CIA codename), had been drifting like two idiots in a current when their Lib buddy noticed.

A huge swell comes in and engulfs Kim and Nathan totally. When the swell rolls out, they’re nowhere to be found.

Yeah, Charles 'Based' Owen, the Makers' based cousin, noticed they were gone with the current.

So, the Coast Guard starts looking for these two goofs. They look for 36 hours. They were probs playing 'never have I ever' or discussing trans rights to kill time. Finally, the Coast Guard spotted them and picked them up.

Mrs. Maker is a school teacher, so it figures these two idiots would teach our kids. She and her soyboy hubby are both sunburned, stung by jellyfish, and on the verge of diabetic comas.

Typical Libs.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Don't be a Lib diver, stay in school
• Don't rely on Big Gov to save you
• Jellyfish are woke, they target Libs