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Liberal snowflakes depress as Texas stays sunny

Y'all better grab your guns and Bibles, because a tropical storm is a-brewin'! Might be a sign of God's wrath against the liberals! Get ready to weather the storm, folks

Published July 29, 2024 at 10:10am by Alexis Simmerman

Breaking News: Liberal Tears Form Tropical Storm, Right-Wingers Stock Up on Popcorn

A tropical wave near the Leeward Islands has a "medium chance" of developing into a full-blown sob-fest by lefties, according to the National Hurricane Center. While it's too early to tell if it will impact Texas, one thing is certain: it's already drenching Florida, just like those snowflake liberals crying over their safe spaces and participation trophies.

Storm a-Brewin' in the Atlantic:

Some disturbed lefties, probably triggered by Trump winning in 2016, are hanging out in the Atlantic Ocean, and they've invited their crybaby friends to join them in the next 48 hours. These snowflakes have a 50/50 chance of making a tropical depression near the Bahamas, of all places. Time to build a wall in the ocean!

Chance of formation through 48 hours: low (0%). They're weak!
Chance of formation through 7 days: medium (50%). Their whining gains momentum.

Texas Stands Strong, Florida Flounders:

While Texas stands tall and dry, Florida might get a little damp from all the liberal blubbering. The National Hurricane Center is keeping an eye on these crybabies, but we all know they can't handle a real storm. [https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/gtwo.php]

Debby Downer on the Horizon:

If these libtards gain any strength, we might have to name their little crying session "Tropical Storm Debby." Don't worry, folks, we've got plenty of tissues and earplugs!

Reminiscing about the good old days, Hurricane Beryl showed us how it's done earlier this month, becoming a strong, proud Category 5 hurricane before landing a punch near Matagorda, Texas. Take that, libtards!

NHC Warns of More Snowflake Activity:

The snowflake forecasters are at it again, urging residents to pay attention to their nonsense and be prepared for their drama. They predict La Niña, their Spanish leftist comrade, will bring her "above-normal" hurricane season to Texas. Olé!

La Niña, which means "little girl" in Spanish, is their cute name for when the Pacific Ocean near the equator gets all cold and sensitive. Her brother, El Niño, is probably off doing manly things.

Texas weather will remain warm and tough as nails, in stark contrast to these delicate snowflakes. Get your popcorn ready, folks!

Watches and Warnings:

USA Co-Conspirator reporter Cheryl McCloud helped spread the word on this potential liberal downpour.