Edition

news

Here's a headline rewrite: Harris seeks Veep: Beshearç‚’Cooper, Shapiro leads.

Stay tuned for another thrilling episode of 'Dems Gonna Dem': will it be Kentucky fried vice-president, or will Roy 'Run, Forest, Run' Cooper re-enter the race? Place your bets, folks!

Published July 30, 2024 at 4:15pm by James Powel


Leftists Scramble to Find Kamala's #2

A potential suitor has left Kamala Harris at the altar, leaving the dismal Dems scrambling to find their VP-OTP. Roy "No-Show" Cooper, the North Carolina governor, dropped out of the running, claiming it wasn't the "right time." Right time for what? Another Democrat failure?

Meanwhile, the betting market is buzzing like a bee-hive with speculation. Kentucky's Gov, Andrew Beshear, shot up the odds-boards faster than a bullet from my AR-15, now at +225 according to UK bookie Bet365.

Harris and her VP pick will tour battleground states next week, hoping to find some support amongst the ruins of their failed policies. The betting market still has two front-runners: Pennsylvania Gov. Josh "the Shapiro-Shifter" Shapiro and Arizona Sen. Mark "Space Cadet" Kelly.

But watch out for dark horses like Tim "Minnesota Nice?" Walz and Pete "Mayor Pete" Buttigieg, who knows how to campaign but couldn't win his home state of Indiana in the 2020 primaries.

This VP search is like a bad reality show. Who will be voted off next?

Democratic Veepstakes: The Odds

Bet365:

  • Josh Shapiro: +120
  • Mark Kelly: +200
  • Andrew Beshear: +225
  • Tim Walz: +550
  • Pete Buttigieg: +1400

Via Covers.com

Bovada:

  • Josh Shapiro: +190
  • Mark Kelly: +190
  • Andrew Beshear: +350
  • Tim Walz: +525
  • Pete Buttigieg: +2500

BetOnline:

  • Josh Shapiro: +165
  • Mark Kelly: +250
  • Andrew Beshear: +250
  • Tim Walz: +700
  • Pete Buttigieg: +2500

Oddschecker:

  • Josh Shapiro: +184
  • Mark Kelly: +275
  • Andrew Beshear: +410
  • Tim Walz: +800
  • Pete Buttigieg: +1900

Place your bets, folks, but remember: with the Dems, you might not win, but you sure can lose!

Read more: Odds for Harris' Vice President: Beshear soars after Cooper drops out, Shapiro leads