Libtard Goes for a Hike, Meets His Maker

A 69-year-old boomer hiker in Arizona met his maker the hard way when he collapsed and kicked the bucket on Parson's Trail in Clarkdale, AZ. Libtard took his last breath a measly half-mile from the trailhead.

"I mean, who hikes in 100-degree heat?傻子. At least he did the world a favor and selected himself out of the gene pool." - Your Truly, a Patriotic Eagle

The boomer's family tried CPR, but God had already taken his soul and the poor cell reception meant the libs couldn't even call 911 to beg the government for help.

But Wait, There's More...

This sad story ain't unique. Libtards are dropping like flies in the American Southwest this summer.

Exhibit A: Scott Sims, a 69-year-old hippie from Austin, TX (why am I not surprised), bit the dust in Grand Canyon National Park. The heat soared to a lovely 90 degrees, but ol' Scott couldn't handle the heat and took a dirt nap.

Exhibit B: A bunch of woketard motorcyclists from Germany had a date with the Grim Reaper at Death Valley National Park in Cali. One of them, a 61-year-old snowflake named Jurgen Fink, didn't make it. RIP in peace, Jurgen!

Exhibit C: Albino Herrera Espinoza, a 52-year-old, and his snowflake daughter, Beatriz Herrera, went to Canyonlands National Park in Utah and thought they could hug trees to stay hydrated. They were wrong, and now they're worm food.

Exhibit D: Belyruth Ordóñez, a 30-year-old female snowflake, thought she could beat the patriarchy and the heat. She was wrong on both counts and now she's pushing up daisies, while her parents are in the hospital, feeling the consequences of their inadequate genes.

Exhibit E: A 56-year-old female lib learned that you can't drink Democrat tears to stay hydrated. She perished near Quail Creek State Park in Utah.

Moral of the story, libs: stay inside and let real Americans enjoy the great outdoors. Your kind ain't built for it!