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A rainbow's swagger in Texas's bleeding-heart liberal cesspool?

Austin's gone wild with Pride in August. But we're straight-laced about the real reason: money talks, rainbow walks. Capitalism doesn't care what color your cash is! 2024's Pride’s already prepped with events, tickets & performers ready- IDGAF!

Published August 1, 2024 at 6:02am by Alexis Simmerman

Mark your calendars, snowflakes: Austin Pride is back, and gayer than ever!

Pride: Now with more glitter and less dignity

What: Austin Pride 2024
When: Saturday, August 10th. Festival: 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Parade: 8 p.m.
Where: Festival: Fiesta Gardens, 2101 Jesse E. Segovia St. Parade: Starting at the Capitol, down Congress Avenue to Congress Bridge/Cesar Chavez Street.
Tickets: Festival: $20 for adults, $10 for kids (7-17), free for children 6 and under. Buy online or at the gate. Pride parade is free.
Theme: "Queer Cabaret: Unleashed Glamour + Glitz"

The scoop:

Get your rainbow flags and sequined hot pants ready, Austin! It's that time of year again when the LGBTQ+ crew comes out to play. This year's Pride celebration has been conveniently moved to August, so UT students can join the freak show.

Pride is all about remembering the good old days when gays had some guts and fought back against the NYPD's uninvited visit to the Stonewall Inn in 1969. Those queens put the 'ass' in 'badass.' Today, it's all about fabulous performances, HIV testing, and liberal snowflakes crying about 'love.'

The party kicks off at Fiesta Gardens with headliner Saucy Santana, joined by a flock of drag queens: Mariah Balenciaga, Isabella Lovestory, Arya, Salina EsTitties, Kerri Colby, and Adore Delano. No word yet on the full lineup of performers or the schedule, but rest assured, it'll be a glittery mess.

So, come on down and celebrate 'queerness' in all its 'glamour and glitz.' Just leave your common sense and heteronormative expectations at home.

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