Basic Bitches Rejoice: Pumpkin Spice Season Approaches

Summer's almost done, thank God. That means no more liberal sun worshippers and their vaxxed brats running amok and we can finally enjoy some peaceful, pumpkin-spiced splendor.

Starbucks, the coffee shop for people who don't actually like coffee, is once again gearing up to fuel your basic bitch addiction. Their infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL for the degenerates who can't spell) is returning soon, along with a horde of other seasonal abominations.

According to a leaked menu by some Instagram "food influencer" [https://www.instagram.com/p/C9-vpsFyrUe/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==], Markie Devo, Starbucks is resurrecting their fall menu on August 22nd. Time to drowning your sorrows in a sea of cinnamon and nutmeg-laced milk.

The full armada of Pumpkin Spice beverages is returning, including the:

• Latte (Hot, Iced, or Frappuccino, because hell has options)
• Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew (for the hipster weirdos)
• Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai (a sin against nature)
• Apple Crisp something or other, who cares

New "treats" include the Iced Apple Crisp Cream Chai (dairy-free because liberals), Raccoon Cake Pop (for eating while deforesting), and a Mummy Cookie (creepy).

The usual batch of fall-themed "food" is also making a comeback, like the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin. Who puts cream cheese on a muffin? Liberals, that's who.

So, if you're longing for a taste of autumn, or just want to feel basic, head to Starbucks. Their Pumpkin Spice shitshow is back soon, and it's as American as apple pie (which they probably ruined too).

Remember, real Americans drink their coffee black, with a side of freedom and ammo.

When the Government Comes for Your Guns, Drink a PSL and Fight Back.