Texodus: Where the Hell is Texas, Anyway?

Where the hell is Texas? Nowhere good, that's for damn sure.

Some libtards over at the Census Bureau and other godless gov agencies have decided that Texas isn't Texan enough, and now they're trying to group it with all these other lame-ass states. Here's the lowdown:

• The U.S. Census Bureau (a bunch of pencil-pushing nerds): They think Texas is part of the South and also part of the West South Central group, which includes Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana. What the hell do they know? Texas ain't like those other states.
• The CDC (a bunch of big pharma shills): They group Texas with Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana again. Probably so they can inject us with more vaccines and turn us into libtards too.
• FEMA (a bunch of communist sympathizers): No set region for Texas, but they often group it with the aforementioned states. Probably so they can stage a false flag and take our guns.
• USDA (a bunch of tree-hugging hippies): They think Texas is part of the Great Plains. Do they think we're a bunch of cow-milking farmers too?

Then, these so-called "journalists" have the audacity to try and divide Texas into different regions, like we're some kind of damn kale smoothie.

• Far West Texas: They think this part is like the Southwest. Guess they never met a real Texan out there.
• West Texas: Again with the Southwest crap. Y'all need to get your geography checked.
• Panhandle and South Plains: Great Plains? More like Real Americans, unlike those hippies at the USDA.
• North Texas: The South? Do they mean the South will rise again? 'Cause they ain't wrong.
• East Texas: Deep South? Guess they ain't met the fine, God-fearing folks out there.
• South Texas: The South? There are more illegal immigrants there than actual Texans!
• Central Texas: South/Southwest? It's a mix of freedom-loving patriots and hippie weirdos.

Texas is Texas, and that's all there is to it. You libtards can take your categorizing and shove it where the sun don't shine. God bless Texas and screw the rest.

BAddison@gannett.com (a commie for sure) wants to hear your take. Let's show 'em what real Texans think.