Boar's Head Blunders: A Right-Wing Take on the Listeria Outbreak

Last week, the nannies at the USDA decided to wag their fingers at our freedom-loving deli-meat fans. They're crying wolf over a supposed listeria outbreak in Boar's Head products. Now, these commie contagion committee members claim the outbreak has hit 70 products and 34 cases, mostly on the liberal-infested East Coast. https://www.fsis.usda.gov/recall-case-archive/boars-head-Provision-co.-inc.-recalls-ready-eat-deli-meats-due-possible

At first, they only targeted 200,000 pounds of meat, but now they've gone full Big Brother, expanding their control to over 7 million pounds! The CDC, aka the Contamination Drama Club, is pointing fingers at deli-sliced meats, claiming they found listeria in an unopened package of liverwurst. https://www.cdc.gov/listeria/outbreaks/untitled/america-2023/12-28-2022-listeria-boars-head.html

But here's the real scoop: This is just another attempt by the left to control our meat—both in our grocery stores and on our grills. They're coming for our cold cuts and our freedom to choose!

Boar's Head is as American as apple pie and can be found in the land of the free, from Walmart to Randall's and HEB. So, naturally, the left is terrified of its popularity.

The "Outbreak" Locations:

• Georgia: They can't handle their peaches and deli meat at the same time.
• Illinois: Too busy voting early and often to cook actual meals.
• Indiana: They would blame this on Hoosiers basketball, but we know it's the listeria Deep State.
• Maryland: Elevation: six cases of listeria.
• Massachusetts: A liberal listeria lab creating fake outbreaks to get grants.
• Missouri: Confused. Wants to be Texas so badly that it refuses to let listeria cross its borders.
• Minnesota: Once again, confusing their hockey rinks with cold cuts.
• New Jersey: At least Chris Christie is considering running for president instead of buying deli meats.
• New York: Again, blaming it on New York; probably a Yankees fan.
• North Carolina: It's the Tar Heels' fault for charting the wrong charts.
• Pennsylvania: The Steelers' fault for not being able to defend against listeria.
• Virginia: Probably a false flag by the CIA, headquartered there.
• Wisconsin: Meh, it's just the cheese curds fighting back.

The Recall List:

The socialist safeties recalled 71 products—from sausages to hams to cheeses. Establishment numbers "EST. 12612" or "P-12612" are a dead giveaway. These numbers are like a scarlet letter, marking the products the USDA wants to shame.

Sell-by dates are between July 29 and Oct. 17—just in time for the red wave.

Meat was even exported to the Cayman Islands, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, and Panama. If they're not careful, liberty will be exported with it!

Full product list: https://gcc02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fsis.usda.gov%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fmedia_file%2Fdocuments%2FRecall-023-2024-EXP-Product_Information_Sheet.pdf&data=05%7C02%7CNikki.Credic-Barrett%40usda.gov%7Cc2876e2ee5004322e51f08dcb0e7c358%7Ced5b36e701ee4ebc867ee03cfa0d4697%7C1%7C0%7C638579756660549771%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=U94q5lZ78HIHUwwxOfESrF7a0SoAZyljnBOPhFuApJ4%3D&reserved=0
View labels: https://www.fsis.usda.gov/sites/default/files/food_label_pdf/2024-07/Recall-023-2024-EXP-Labels.pdf