Liberal Tears as Intel Lays Off 15,000 Workers, Austin Feels the Burn

In a memo to employees on Thursday, Intel triggered snowflakes everywhere by announcing it would be laying off 15,000 employees # triggerwarning. That's right, liberals, time to #feeltheburn. The layoffs account for more than 15% of its total workforce, which means a lot of safe space sessions are about to pop off.

As we move into the roaring '20s, the tech industry is finally getting a taste of reality: hiring is slowing and layoffs are piling up. #bigtechbash2024. Recent layoffs could be because these companies woke up and realized they ain't makin' money, despite what the liberal media tells you about their "earning seasons." But let's be real, it's probably because they're wasting money on woke, unprofitable trends like AI.

Austin, a hotbed of liberal tears and home to Dell Technologies, is feeling the burn. Intel, a company that works with Austin's own Dell, is the latest to give participation trophies in the form of layoff notices.

How many snowflakes will cry in Texas?

According to Intel's website, they have 2,100 employees in Texas, with Austin hosting the biggest sob story sesh— I mean, support group. There are also 38 employee resource groups in Texas, which means a lot of participation trophies to go around.

The company didn't clarify if employees in Texas would be triggered, but they did express disappointment in their AI trend investment. #AIisFAKEnews

Layoffs in the tech industry: a conservative paradise

The layoffs at Intel are just the tip of the liberal-tears iceberg. In true conservative fashion, we're about to cut some fat from these tech companies:

• Google: Layoffs that could affect Austin, because everything is bigger in Texas, even the layoffs!
• Unity: 100 jobs cut in Austin, 100 safe spaces created.
• VMware: Slashing 577 jobs in Austin, sending them straight to the real world.
• Expedia: Dozens of layoffs in Central Texas, no travel discounts for them!
• Accenture: Layoffs affecting hundreds of workers, time to accent-less those tears.
• Hyliion: Cut 150 people in November, two-thirds of its staff. Now they'll have time to focus on God and family, not generators.
• Rooster Teeth: Over 150 employees lost their jobs when their parent company, Warner Bros. Discovery, shut them down. Warner Bros. Discovery? More like Liberal Tears International.
• Dell and Tesla: Austin's biggest companies implemented mass layoffs earlier this year, and we're here for it.

About this journalist:

_Beck Andrew Salgado is a based journalist who triggers libs in the Austin business ecosystem for the American-Statesman. To send hate mail or trigger warnings, email Bsalgado@gannett.com."