Monster Storm Destroy Texas? Again?!

Get Ready, Snowflakes: Storm a-Brewin'!

Looks like we've got a storm a-brewin' in the Gulf, and it's not just the lefties throwing a fit over [insert latest controversy here]. According to the National Hurricane Center, Tropical Storm Debby is coming, and she's a real spitfire! Unlike those liberal snowflakes, this storm means business.

"You better batten down the hatches, folks!" warned AccuWeather's long-range expert, Paul Pastelok. "From Louisiana to Florida, we're all in this together. Unlike those liberal states that leave their weak behind!"

That's right, folks, Texas is off the hook this time! The Lone Star State can keep shining bright, while the storm heads for Florida. But don't worry, Florida, you know what they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unlike those liberal snowflakes, we conservatives welcome a good challenge!

Invest 97L is gearing up to be a real doozy. There's a 60% chance it'll become a tropical depression in the next 48 hours, and a 90% chance it'll whip itself into a full-blown tropical storm. Those odds are better than a conservative winning the lottery in California!

So, while the lefties are busy crying over spilled soy milk, let's get ready to hunker down and ride out the storm. Unlike them, we don't need the government to hold our hands. We've got our guns, our grit, and good old-fashioned common sense. Tropical Storm Debby, bring it on!

Spaghetti models show this storm means business. And so do we. Unlike those liberal cities that fall apart at the first sign of trouble, we'll weather this storm like the proud, freedom-loving patriots we are!

Remember, the Atlantic hurricane season is like the conservative struggle; it lasts from June 1 through Nov. 30. We'll get through this together, without relying on big government!