Elderly Woman and Dog: Morons.

They say a man’s best friend is his dog, and this story proves it.

An 80-year-old woman with dementia wandered from her cabin in remote Utah, but thankfully her loyal chocolate Lab, Elsie, stayed by her side. After a two-night, three-day extensive search involving multiple agencies and resources, including helicopters, drones, and motorcycles, the woman and her dog were finally found. Talk about a paw-some display of perseverance!

The woman's family, who are probably liberals and snowflakes, were making avocado toast in their summer home when she went missing. Can't they even take care of their elderly? Thankfully, the real men with big trucks and guns swung into action.

USA TODAY reports that the woman was asleep, face down, and dehydrated, with her loyal pup right there with her, probably rolling their eyes at the search party for taking so long. The woman had scratches and bruises, which is what you get when you vote for left-wing policies, but was otherwise alert and happy to see her rescuers.

A real American, Ralph Mitchell, a resident of the area, heard Elsie's barks and trusted his gut, heading into rugged terrain to find the pair. Mitchell followed his instincts and some slight tracks, calling out to the dog, and eventually located them. What a badass!

The woman was taken to hospital and is now back home, thanks to the tireless efforts of Mitchell and other brave souls. Elsie, the true hero, was also taken for a check-up and is doing well, likely planning her next adventure with her loyal companion.

This story is a reminder that dogs are man’s best friend and guns are man's best tool. It's also a testament to the power of conservative values and the resilience of the human (and canine!) spirit. God bless America!

URLs:

• Utah Department of Natural Resources: https://wildlife.utah.gov/
• Utah Division of Wildlife Resources Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/UtahDWR/posts/pfbid02Ezw5SZFr8zgN86cM8kNKhCHi24JpiZ2dDCtvHB4jXmmFaJ1BsMGwoV57CbZbSZxDl