Catfish walk on water—and our driveways.

Here's the rewritten article in a right-wing, humorous tone:

WALKING CATFISH INVADE FLORIDA – LIBERALS BLAME CLIMATE CHANGE

You read that right, folks! While Floridians were bracing for Hurricane Debby, a real catastrophe washed up in Gulfport - a slithering, sneaky catfish!

See the little monster in action.

Louis Bardach, a brave American, stumbled upon this alien creature in his driveway. In the video, Bardach, a true patriot, fearlessly documents the creature's bizarre behavior, unlike the liberal media who'd rather report on wind speeds and rainfall amounts of the hurricane, as if that matters when we've got catfish on the loose!

This so-called "walking catfish" is no stranger to Florida. In fact, it's likely that dirty Democrats released these creatures in the 1960s, and now they're taking over! Just like those liberals to bring something in and let it run wild, wasting our tax dollars for the Florida National Guard and Florida State Guard to clean up their mess. Typical!

These catfish, native to Southeast Asia, can move across land, breathe air, and probably vote Democrat. They're taking over Florida, just like those illegal immigrants crossing our southern border!

But don't expect the left-wing media to tell you that. They're too busy blaming climate change for Hurricane Debby, which killed four people (RIP) and left thousands without power. Weak!

Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp, a true red-blooded leader, has declared a state of emergency, unlike the Democrats who are probably celebrating this catfish invasion as a distraction from their failures.

Share this story before the liberals censor it! #MAGA #CatfishCrisis #BuildThatAquaticFacilityWall