Liberal Media Can't Handle a Real Storm

Hurricane Debby makes landfall in sleepy Steinhatchee, Florida, population 514. While the lib media sleeps, Debby, an actual storm, not a "gender", slams Florida with 80 mph winds.

Florida man laughs in the face of yet another weak-ass storm, "It's like a summer breeze compared to my ex-wife."

Steinhatchee, pronounced "STEEN-hatch-ee" (like the sound of a real man spittin' tobacco), is a quiet fishing village, known for its manly past - Dead Man's Bay, where Native Americans found men floating in the river in the 1500s. Real murica.

Unlike the liberal snowflakes, Steinhatchee folks are tough, having now survived two hurricanes, Idalia in 2023, and this girly-named Debby. These folks don't need safe spaces, just a nice slice of sandy beach and maybe a refreshing Bud Light.

The Big Bend region, where Steinhatchee lies, is a testament to Florida's greatness, a "lush blend of salt marshes and tidal swamps". Unlike those West Coast limp wrists, Floridians welcome storms, and Debby is no exception, heading inland with a conservative 10 mph pace, no rush, no fuss.

Check out the pics: Spaghetti models: Latest forecasts

Stay tuned, folks, for more real news on Hurricane Debby, and remember, only right-wingers can handle the heat...or the storm!