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Texas > France

Texas ranks higher than 33 countries in the medal count at the Paris Olympics.

Published August 5, 2024 at 10:50pm by Danny Davis

Over the past few days, Texas has struck gold, and it's not just in them there hills!

Ryan "The Gunslinger" Crouser (men's shot put), Scottie "Stats" Scheffler (men's golf), and Julien "Lightning" Alfred (women's 100-meter dash) have all brought home the bacon, I mean gold, for the good ole US of A, and their alma mater, the University of Texas. Don't forget Hungarian-Texas sibling, Hubert Kos, who swam his way to gold in the men's 200-meter backstroke. Them Europeans sure can swim, y'all!

"Hook 'em Horns!" - The sound of Texas pride ringing through the streets of Paris.

As of Monday, if Texas were its own country, it'd give Canada a run for its money, ranking 12th in the gold medal count. Yup, them Longhorns are showing the world that everything's bigger in Texas, even our talent. Sweden, Brazil, and even them Swiss folk can't keep up!

The Olympics ain't over yet, folks! We got more Texas tornadoes tearing it up in Paris, including Alfred in the women's 200-meter dash, Tara "Leaping" Davis-Woodhall (women's long jump), Chiaka "Volley" Ogbogu (women's indoor volleyball), and Kevin "Slim Reaper" Durant (men's basketball). Let's hope them refs don't go all leftist on us!

'Merica! Texas forever!