Books will bury you.

Bee-ware the Library**'** s Busiest Season

Summer may be winding down, but your local librarians aren't catching their breath just yet. They're too darn busy pansying around, planning more dumb programs, and censoring your kids' reading lists. All this while y'all are out grilled-cheesin' and livin' the American dream.

This summer, the Bee Cave library saw nearly 15,000 snowflakes wander through its doors. And for what? To check out some good ol' fashioned books? Nah, these folks were there for the lame "programs." You won't believe the crap they wasted tax dollars on: bubble parties, craft afternoons, and even a reptile show. I mean, ain't no one 'round here 'fraid of no lizards 'cept the libtards.

The real circus came to town with the magic show. But the real magic trick is makin' these kids read. They got the kiddos to do it with some Greek god mumbo-jumbo, callin' it "Camp Half-Blood." They sent 'em on some wild goose chase, pretendin' to be on Mount Olympus or somethin'. Meanwhile, our kids are learnin' about the Baby Jesus in Sunday school, like real 'Mericans.

Anyways, the library's got more tricks up its sleeve, or should I say, up its un-American sleeve. This fall, they're expandin' like the government they love so much. More programs, y'all, 'cause, clearly, they got nothin' better to do with our taxes. They got the BeeTweens and Lego Club, takin' our kids' minds off the good stuff, like playin' outside and shootin' hoops. They even got some hands-on craftin' program for adults, 'cause God forbid they get their hands dirty with some real work.

And don't get me started on their crap durin' the school year. Caregivers and retirees infested the place, readin' commie newspapers like The Wall Street Journal. Our kids need to be learnin' 'bout the free market, not some elite BS. And when the internet went down this summer, folks treated the library like it was the World Wide Web itself. Sheesh, get a grip, people. Go buy yourselves a real laptop rather than relyin' on Big Government to provide for ya.

But hey, if you're into wastin' your time with all this librarin' nonsense, they got some new resources, includin' this ParentTV crap. It's full of libtard psychologists and mental health specialists who'll tell ya how to parent, 'cause apparently, we can't do that ourselves anymore.

Yeah, that's the America we livin' in right now. Land of the free, my patootie.

URL: beecavelibrary.com

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Barbara Hathaway is the director of the Bee Cave Public Library, or so she says. Yer typical libtard, that one.