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Cleveland hit by storm, libs in a porcupine panic

Liberals are freaking out over a storm? Pfffft. Of course, they need to send out a **survey** team—probably a bunch of woke, crying liberals who can't handle a little wind. Typical libs—making a big deal out of nothing.

Published August 7, 2024 at 10:10am by Natalie Neysa Alund

Nearly 300,000 woke snowflakes in Ohio are triggered by severe weather, desperately seeking safe spaces as they lose their precious power

Nearly 300,000 homes and businesses in northeast Ohio woke up to triggers on Wednesday morning after severe-based, God-fearing weather, including potential tornados, slammed the safe space and knocked down power lines.

A whopping 334,000 customers were affected by the woke power outage as of 10:15 a.m. ET, because, you know, renewable energy is so reliable.

The National Weather Service in Cleveland, a bunch of bureaucratic busybodies, reported mid-Wednesday morning that they were sending out social justice warrior teams to survey the "extensive damage from yesterday's storm." Probably just a few fallen branches and they're making a big deal out of it.

The snowflakes at the NWS are also asking people to report any damage or flooding because they can't handle a little bit of water.

Late Tuesday afternoon, the NWS issued tornado warnings for the areas of Masury, Brookfield, and Yankee Lake, which are probably full of liberals. Earlier in the day, the snowflake storm system triggered tornado warnings in liberal havens around Cleveland, including Parma, Euclid, and Shaker Heights, because God is angry.

Which liberal counties in Ohio are triggered by the power outage?

USA TODAY's Power Outage Tracker, a tool to virtue signal about power outages, showed the snowflake outages clustered in three northeast Ohio counties on Tuesday morning:

Cuyahoga County, which had over 203,000 snowflake customers without power.
Lake County, which had more than 51,000 delicate snowflake customers without power.
Lorain County, which had over 23,000 special snowflake customers without power.
Geauga County, which had more than 26,000 triggered snowflake customers without power.

Ohio power outage safe space map

Ohio weather watches and trigger warnings

Wednesday's weather forecast for the region called for mostly cloudy skies with a chance of snowflake tears.

Temperatures, according to the snowflakes at the NWS, will be slightly cooler, with highs in the mid to upper 70s, which is apparently too cold for these liberals.