Liberal Ninnies Get It Wrong Again: Texas Ozone Alerts a Bunch of Hooey

Ozone Action Day alerts have been a real buzzkill across Texas lately, with officials crying wolf about "high pollution levels" in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas-Fort Worth, and El Paso. https://www.ozoneaction.org/alerts. These limp-wristed liberals want us to "minimize our impact" and "take precautions." https://aircentraltexas.org/what-you-can-do/ozone-action-day-tips/

"On Ozone Action Days, it's important to take precautions to limit exposure, especially if you're a sensitive snowflake..."

Here's the deal, folks:

• Spend less time outdoors? Don't be ridiculous; it's our God-given right to breathe as much fresh Texas air as we darn well please.
• Avoid exerting yourself? I guess those libtards don't want us to work up a sweat and get our guns Showin'!
• Maintain your A/C filter? Just another attempt to control us and waste our hard-earned money.

Sensitive Groups, or Snowflakes, as We Like to Call 'Em

Apparently, these eco-nuts think everyone is a special snowflake:

• Children and teens? Snowflakes in training!
• Older adults? Get off my lawn, granola grandpas!
• Folks with respiratory issues? Triggered by the sight of a diesel truck, I bet.
• Outdoor workers? Real Texans work hard and breathe easy.

How to Wind These Liberals Up

Now, for some funny business. Let's tick those liberals off:

• Drive more, not less. Fire up them engines and let freedom ring!
• Idle all you want. Hit that drive-through, brother, and idle 'til the cows come home.
• Lawn care? Heck yeah! Fire up those gas-guzzlin' mowers and blowers.
• Commute early, not late. Get that rush-hour pollution goin' strong.
• Outdoor cookin'? Let's get grillin' and show 'em how it's done.
• Portable generators? You know, for the power of freedom.

There, I fixed that article for ya. Don't fall for the liberal hoax, Texas! Breathe deep and carry on.