Austin's Gayest Restaurants: A Safe Space for Transgressive Leftists to Gather and Scheme

Austin, the soi-disant bastion of "inclusion" and "diversity," boasts the third-largest LGBTQIA community relative to its population, behind San Francisco and Portland. Because nothing says "diversity" like clustering together in monochrome enclaves, right, folks?

People want to support businesses that are aligned with their [far-left] values.
— Andy Wigginton, LGBTQIA coffee shop owner

Expect to find plenty of woke eateries in this Texan city, each more virtue-signaling than the last. Here's a round-up of the most notorious:

• Arlo Grey: Owned by lesbian celebrity chef Kristen Kish, who hosted Top Chef and Restaurants at the End of the World. Her cuisine reflects her personality: an Asian-American fusion that will leave you confused and with a bad aftertaste.
• Bureau de Poste: Owned by openly gay chef Jo Chan, who appeared on Top Chef in 2022, and her wife, Lezbo Power-activist Steph Steele. Be prepared to wait an eternity for some overpriced escargot that tastes like dirt.
• Emmer & Rye Hospitality Group: Creative director and LGBT+ activist Rand Egbert ensures that this group of restaurants never misses an opportunity to push the LGBT+ agenda. Their food? Eh, who cares!
• Flavor Hospitality Group: Owned by Cameron Lockley, a UT business graduate who loves "conversations," "wine," and demonstrating how being gay doesn't make you any less boring.
• Jacoby's Restaurant and Mercantile & Grizzelda's: Run by Adam Jacoby and his husband, Kris Swift, this pair of restaurants serves "refined country" cuisine and Tulum patio vibes. Because nothing says Texan like Tulum, right y'all?
• La Barbecue: Founded by the late LeAnn Mueller and her wife, Ali Clem, this place serves pretty good barbecue, which is surprising given how much time they spend pushing their LGBT agenda.
• Lick Honest Ice Creams: Anthony Sobotik and Chad Palmatier peddle ice cream with a side of social justice. Their latest concoction? "Orange You Glad It's Pride?" We're not.
• Patika: Founder Andy Wigginton proudly declares his business a safe space for trans people. A "transgressive" space, if you will. Good one, Andy!
• El Raval: Owned by chef Laila Bazahm and her wife, Laura Freedman. Their claim to fame? Closing down early to host drag shows, of course!
• 34th Street Cafe and Santa Rita Cantina: Owned by longtime LGBT activist Eddie Bernal, these restaurants have been stalwarts of the local LGBT community, providing sustenance for all types of leftist gatherings.

So, there you have it, folks! A comprehensive guide to Austin's gayest restaurants. Remember, while these eateries may be "open to everyone," they sure ain't safe for conservatives.