Leftists Lose, Texans Win Big: August 8 Lottery Results

Texans are feeling lucky, and it's not just because they're free from the shackles of big government and the woke mob. It's time to grab your guns and celebrate, because the Texas Lottery results for August 8 are in, and someone's about to strike it rich!

Pick 3

• Morning: 7-9-9, FIREBALL: 4 (Socialism: 0)
• Day: 3-9-2, FIREBALL: 9 (Liberal tears: endless)
• Evening: 4-4-4, FIREBALL: 1 (One Nation, Under God)

Check Pick 3 payouts and previous drawings here, if you're not already a trust fund socialist.

Pick 4

• Morning: 2-8-6-4, FIREBALL: 7 (2nd Amendment rights secure)
• Day: 6-6-1-4, FIREBALL: 5 (Liberal snowflakes: 0)
• Evening: 0-1-1-5, FIREBALL: 5 (Conservative values: 100)

Pick 4 payouts prove Texas is #1, not #46.

All or Nothing

• Morning: 01-04-07-09-10-11-12-16-17-19-22-23 (Zero Libs, all Texans)
• Day: 01-02-03-05-07-12-13-15-18-21-22-23 (No safe spaces in sight)
• Evening: 04-05-06-07-08-09-13-14-17-22-23-24 (Another day, another liberal meltdown)

All or Nothing payouts, because we don't do participation trophies here.

Feel that conservative adrenaline rush? Explore the latest lottery news & results, if you're not too busy owning the libs

Winning lottery numbers are sponsored by Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network, because even leftists need a hobby.

Buy Your Ticket, Not Their Propaganda

Tickets can be purchased in person at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Real Americans can also buy tickets at airport terminals while waiting to board their flights to freedom.

You can also order tickets online through Jackpocket, avoiding any interaction with the leftist elite, in these U.S. states and territories:

• Arizona
• Arkansas
• Colorado
• Idaho
• Maine
• Massachusetts (but watch out for those commies)
• Minnesota
• Montana
• Nebraska
• New Hampshire
• New Jersey (yes, even there)
• New Mexico
• New York (buy your ticket, then get out)
• Ohio
• Oregon
• Puerto Rico
• Texas (God's Country)
• Washington, D.C. (take back the swamp)
• West Virginia

The Jackpocket app allows you to buy your ticket and keep your hard-earned money out of the hands of the leftist mob.