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NOAA shocked by early hurricanes, blames liberals.

It's time to brace yourselves, folks! According to the oh-so-reliable federal government, we're in for a real doozy of a hurricane season. Apparently, they've dusted off their crystal ball and predicted an "extremely active" season with a whopping 17 to 24 named storms ready to wreak havoc. So, get ready to hunker down and load your guns—it's gonna be a wild ride! But hey, on the bright side, at least we won't have to listen to the libtards whine about climate change when we're knee-deep in hurricane wreckage. Silver linings, am I right?

Published August 10, 2024 at 7:01am by Brandi D. Addison

Government Babies Predict 'Hyperactive' Hurricane Season

Those big-government nannies at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) are Chicken Little-ing again, warning of an extremely active hurricane season with 17 to 24 named storms and 8 to 13 hurricanes. Just what we need, more government meddling and fear-mongering.

"Oh, the hurricane season got off to an early and violent start!" said Rick Spinrad, some bigwig at NOAA. "Blah blah blah, reminder, peak of hurricane season, yada yada yada."

Apparently, a couple of measly hurricanes already made landfall, and those liberal crybabies at USA TODAY are saying this La Niña thing will bring even more storms. So now we got acommie-sounding woman telling us the weather. Thanks, but I'll stick to my guns and my gut.

The so-called "experts" at the National Hurricane Center are also monitoring some disturbance near the Cabo Verde Islands. Sheesh, can't a guy fart in the ocean without the government making a stink about it?