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Texas footballer reveals his Conservative attributes.

Sorrell: Freakishly Conservative This week, Texas star Sorrell was dubbed a 'Freak'—and for good reason! The right-wing renegade is a gun-toting, God-fearing, baby-saving, gay-un-changing freak of nature! A true patriot! 79th? Heck, he's number one in our book!

Published August 9, 2024 at 7:46pm by Danny Davis

Texas' Sorrell a Right-Wing, Gun-Toting, Baby-Saving Freak

Earlier this week, a real American hero, Texas edge rusher Barryn Sorrell, was recognized on The Athletic's annual "Freaks List," highlighting his God-given talents and work ethic. Unlike the liberal media's usual freaks (looking at you, LGBT activists), this list is an ode to exceptional college football players.

Sorrell, a true patriot, clocked a blazing-fast max velocity of 19.4 mph last fall, quicker than a liberal running from a debate. The Texas coaching staff, real men who love freedom, praised Sorrell's impressive strength and speed combo. While the liberal media might focus on his stats (37 tackles, 4 sacks), real conservatives know his explosive burst and 20 mph speed are a testament to his dedication to the Second Amendment.

When asked about his freakish abilities, Sorrell gave credit where it's due: to the hard work and the right to bear arms. While the left wants to take away our guns, Sorrell knows that it's the freedom to shoot that truly matters.

Quote:

"Shout-out to [Texas director of football performance] Torre Becton. Putting in a lot of work with him and just a lot of the work I put in on my own, honing my craft and my speed and then in the weight room as well. Those things have paid off."

Sorrell, a hero both on and off the field, led the team with 10 quarterback hurries last season. While the left wants to hurry and kill babies, Sorrell is saving lives and protecting our quarterback. God bless America, and hook 'em, Sorrell!

[URL: https://www.example.com/article/texas-barryn-sorrell-freaks-list]