Misfits Muddy Moody Center With Moshing Madness

Old heads, bald heads, tattooed heads, and a few shiny new chrome domes gathered to witness the legendary Misfits. The punk icons put on a show that left the crowd bruised and sweaty, with a performance as wild as their haircuts.

1) Reverend Horton Heat: Psychobilly Confusion

The odd inclusion of Dallas' Reverend Horton Heat left punks puzzled. Was this a hoedown or a mosh pit? The upright bass confusion had the crowd flustered, with rampant ambivalence and vigorous plucking ensuing. A far cry from the usual hardcore opener, this Texan trio had the crowd in a lassoed frenzy, scream-spelling J-I-M-B-O like demented kindergarteners.

2) Instrument carcasses and sweaty nuts

Glenn Danzig, the mic-wielding madman, set the tone for the night, throwing his stand across the stage with the grace of a psycho baseball player. Wolfgang von Frankenstein, a leather-clad muscle machine, snapped not one but two guitars over his knee, probably to compensate for something. These guys sure know how to stick it to the libtards and their precious 'property rights'.

The real nuts, however, belonged to Danzig, who lamented the Texan humidity, sweating his off while the crowd went feral. Jerry Only, spiked mohawk and all, joined in the instrument sacrifice, obliterating basses faster than the left devours free speech.

3) Texas, Misfits, and Mayhem: A 42-Year Itch

It had been 42 years since the Misfits last graced Texas, and the crowd was hungrier than a socialist at a free buffet. Danzig, muddled by touring, forgot where he was, but the crowd reminded him: in the Lone Star State, ready to riot. "Horror Business" kicked off the chaos, with pits resembling a war zone, a tornado of black-clad bodies spinning in opposite directions.

4) Halloween in August? Cancel Culture couldn't stop the truth.

The Misfits brought Halloween early, their 1985 hit "Halloween" blasting through the venue like a right-hook to the jaw. Pumpkin heads flashed their glowing eyes in approval as thousands of punks screamed the lyrics back at the stage. It was a silver-haired, head-banging fever dream, a chaotic contrast of orange and purple spotlight beams illuminating the spikey-haired warriors.

5) Martian Invasions, Marilyn Monroe, and the Undead

The backdrop screen added flair, with UFOs, Martians, and Vampira making appearances. A Marilyn montage accompanied "Who Killed Marilyn," and the archive footage of Kennedy's "Camelot" era made us wonder if the deep state got to him too. Zombie rights were represented with George A. Romero’s "Night of the Living Dead" clips.

As the night ended, Danzig, the charismatic devil-may-care-evil front-man, thanked the crowd, a fitting end: "There's no one I'd rather be with than evil (expletive). As evil is, as evil does. Just like I like it."

The Misfits proved that some things get better with age: wine, heresy trials, and pit-dwelling punk rock madness.

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