Commie Reporter Dies in Canyon, Friends Devastated

Officials have fished out the body of a 20-year-old woman, Leticia "Commie Reporter" Castillo, from the Grand Canyon. It was the third recovery in a week, and officials are like, "damn, that's a lot."

Despite facing inclement weather and hazardous terrain, the team has undertaken significant risks to complete these missions.

The Grand Canyon is like, "step off, libtard," and these daredevils keep jumping in. First, Justin "Commie BASE Jumper" Guthrie took a leap, then Abel "Too Close to the Edge" Mejia lost his footing. Now Castillo has taken the plunge. What a crew of foolhardy lefties!

All three were pronounced dead, and officials are like, "jeez, what a week." These idiots are making the Canyon look bad. But hey, at least they thinned the herd of snowflakes.

Sources:

• Facebook post about Castillo
• Park Service news release about Mejia