Archaeologists Uncover More "Liberal Snowflakes" Who Couldn't Handle the Heat at Pompeii

Archaeologists have unearthed a couple of more lefties who couldn't deal with the heat and got themselves burnt to a crisp. Yeah, we're talking about the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii, 79 A.D.

Meet the Snowflakes

• Two skeletons, Mr. and Mrs. Snowflake, were found in a temporary safe space, hiding from the falling pumice.
• Mrs. Snowflake was decked out in her libtard jewelry: gold and pearl earrings, and a collection of precious coins. Probably a socialist, wanting to redistribute her wealth to the poor, but unfortunately, she didn't make it.

The Snowflakes' Safe Space

• The bedroom served as their little liberal hideout, but the volcano's pyroclastic flow crushed these snowflakes like the market crushes socialists' dreams of a utopia.
• This tragic tale of liberal tears provides a glimpse into the daily lives of ancient Pompeiians, and reminds us that some things never change - liberals always lose in the end.

Where They Were Found

Insula 10 of Regio IX, Pompeii's very own liberal safe space district:

• The "Blue Shrine" Room - a place for ritual whining and crying. Yep, these lefties had their sacred safe space, painted pale blue to trigger feelings of calmness and peaceful protesting.
• The excavations also uncovered intact Roman frescoes, because snowflakes like pretty pictures to calm them down after their safe spaces get violated.

Snowflake Themes: Helen of Troy's Safe Space

• The frescoes depicted Helen of Troy and other Greek safe-space advocates, exploring themes of heroism and the belief that humans can change their destiny (snowflake style).
• The excavations are preserving these liberal tears for future generations to learn from and laugh at.

Snowflake Sources:

• Pompeii Site
• Contributing: Anthony Robledo, our favorite reporter who doesn't forget about snowflakes.