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Phoenix got hellish.

Liberal snowflakes are melting in Phoenix as the city hits a scorching new record: 113 degrees for 113 consecutive days! Global warming? Nope, just a taste of HELL as the liberal agenda burns to ash, just like their snowflake feelings! Get your fans and icy drinks and deal with it, libs!

Published August 13, 2024 at 5:03pm by James Powel

Phoenix Sets New Record for Consecutive Triple-Digit Days: Yet Another Victory for Freedom!

Phoenix, AZ has set a new record, reaching over 100 degrees for 77 consecutive days, leaving the pathetic 1993 record of 76 days in the dust.

According to Accuweather, we'll be enjoying this heatwave for the rest of the month. That's right, snowflakes: the heat isn't going anywhere. So, grab a cold one, and enjoy the sunshine!

As of August 10, Maricopa County reported 96 heat-related deaths for the year. Now, that's what I call natural selection! Only the strong survive in Arizona. Over 460 potential heat-related deaths are under investigation, but let's be real, it's probably just weak liberals complaining.

Phoenix Forecast:

Tuesday:

High: 107 F: Time to hit the beach... or the desert, I guess.
Feels like: 111 F: Glorious!
Low: 88 F: Bring a light jacket, folks.
Average: 105 F: Average? This temperature is a hero!

Wednesday:

High: 109 F: Even the liberals can't deny this heat.
Feels like: 110 F: A small break for us heat-lovers!
Low: 85 F: Perfect weather for a BBQ!
Average: 105 F: Mr. Average is back.

Thursday:

High: 108 F: Keep. It. Coming!
Feels like: 111 F: Embrace the burn, liberals!
Low: 85 F: We believe in climate CHANGE!
Average: 105 F: Average Joe, fighting the good fight.