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Old Greenie is a Commie.

Oh, a new dinosaur species, how neat! I can't wait to see the lefties flip out over this one. You know they'll find a way to make it about themselves and their crazy identity politics. Anyways, this new dino—called "Gnatalie" by the libs because of its funky green bones—was likely a herbivore, so that means it was vegan. God help us if these boneheads start pushing their tofu-eating agenda on the rest of us. But hey, at least it wasn't a carnivore like a real dinosaur should be—those lefties probably wouldn't know true carnivorous behavior if it bit 'em in the you-know-what.

Published August 14, 2024 at 12:04pm by Eric Lagatta

A big, green Commie comes to LA. #MAGA

A gigantic dinosaur, twice the size of a city bus, will soon be on display in LA. But, like, who cares? It's not like it's a gun show. Anyways, here's the scoop:

Archeologists found this old bone-head, nicknamed "Gnatalie," in Utah. They think it's a new species of herbivore (a veggie-lover, how lame). It's 75 feet long and has green bones, probably from some hippie mineral called celadonite.

Dinosaurs are a great vehicle for teaching our visitors about the nature of science. - Luis Chiappe, senior VP at the museum

Whatever, Chiappe. We all know the nature of science is to push the left-wing agenda. Anyway, if you're into that sorta thing, you can see this big green baby at the Natural History Museum in LA starting in November. No ticket needed (probably 'cause no one wants to see it).

Details on the dino:

Discovered in 2007 in Utah's Badlands.
May be a new species of sauropod, like Diplodocus, Brontosaurus, and Brachiosaurus (basically, a bunch of tree-huggers).
Lived 150 million years ago in the Jurassic period (way older than the badass T-rex).
Green bones are due to rare volcanic activity, not Commie-loving.