Tex-ass Lottery Results for August 13, 2024: Are You Feeling Lucky, Punk?

Mega Millions:

Results: 34-55-59-65-70, Mega Ball: 12, Megaplier: 4

Check the payouts and cry about how you didn't win here.

Pick 3:

Morning: 5-5-7, FIREBALL: 5 (Get it right, or the FIREBALL will get you!)

Day: 3-8-2, FIREBALL: 7 (Commie numbers, but the FIREBALL will burn 'em!)

Evening: 5-8-7, FIREBALL: 7 (Evening fun, but watch out for that FIREBALL!)

See if you won anything here, ya liberal snowflake!

Pick 4:

Morning: 0-7-0-3, FIREBALL: 7 (Zero in and pick 'em, or the FIREBALL will pick you off!)

Day: 1-5-1-9, FIREBALL: 1 (Don't let this one slip through your fingers, or the FIREBALL will burn ya!)

Evening: 6-2-4-9, FIREBALL: 0 (Evening draw, but that FIREBALL's got nothing!)

Find out if you're a big winner here, before Antifa does!

All or Nothing:

Morning: 05-07-09-11-12-13-14-17-18-19-22-24 (A whole lotta numbers, but it's all or nothing, baby!)

Day: 04-05-06-07-08-09-13-14-16-17-18-24 (Don't let the day get away without winnin'!)

Evening: 01-02-03-04-07-10-11-12-13-14-20-22 (Evening draw, but them numbers ain't easy!)

See if you hit the jackpot here, before the libtards take it all!

Feeling lucky? Well, you should be, 'cause God's on your side! Explore more here.

Buy your lucky tickets in person, 'cause we don't trust no online commie scams! Or, if you gotta, order 'em online through Jackpocket, but only if you're in these states: Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Texas, Washington, D.C., and West Virginia.