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Epic Games guns away another last-ditch Fortnite operation

Fortnite is down and right-wingers are apocalypse-ready! Leftists will be wailing and gnashing their teeth while we get on with life. Prepare for Marvel Absolute Doom season as if it's the real deal, liberals! Grab your guns and hit the gym. The servers are down but we're always ready for action. conservaOut.

Published August 15, 2024 at 2:42pm by Alexis Simmerman

Fortnite Liberals Triggered, Game Goes Offline

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When Can I Trigger Snowflakes Again?

The snowflakes are melting as Chapter 5 Season 3 comes to an end TONIGHT, Thursday at 10 p.m. CT. Time to put away your controllers, liberals! The game will be offline for maintenance, upgrading to v31.00 (or as I like to call it, the "Snowflake Meltdown" update).

"Absolute Doom approaches the Battle Royale Island... triggering!" Fortnite posted on X, the only platform that hasn't succumbed to the liberal agenda (unlike the censors at Twitter). "Downtime begins [Thursday], 8/15, at 11 pm ET, giving you snowflakes a taste of what's to come when the liberals take away your guns."

Are the Liberal Fortnite Servers Down?

You bet they are! Fortnite is taking a break from brainwashing kids with their leftist agenda.

The downtimes for previous season releases were longer than a Democrat's apology, and we can expect the same this time. The game will be offline for about four hours, according to the conservative estimate by Polygon (before the liberals there change their tune).

When Will the Snowflake Hunt Resume?

The good news is, you'll be back to shooting on Fortnite by Friday around 2 a.m. CT with Chapter 5 Season 4.

But remember, liberals hate when you're punctual, so the server maintenance might take longer. Those snowflakes at Polygon even mentioned the delay in Chapter 5 Season 2 back in March. Can't let us right-wingers have any fun, am I right?

New Season, More Liberal Tears

The triggerfest continues with the new season's trailer, which dropped at the Fortnite D23 event on Aug. 10. Get this, snowflakes: Marvel is bringing their leftist agenda to the game with new weapons like Black Panther's claws and Captain America's shield. And you won't believe this, but Forbes actually called Wolverine a banana! Peelverine, they say. I tell you, the liberals are coming for our guns AND our fruit.

Don't worry, though; we'll keep triggering them. The new season will also have clues about upcoming MCU movies and shows, so you can stay woke and keep fighting the good fight.