Leftists cave, ban free enterprise after dark.

Bee Cave, Texas Caves to Crime, Bans Door-to-Door Sales After Dark

Bee Cave, the latest frontier in the battle against crime and common sense, has taken a bold step to protect its citizens from the scourge of door-to-door sales. The Bee Cave City Council, in a stunning display of unity, voted to ban all solicitations after sunset, ensuring that the good people of this fine city can enjoy their evenings undisturbed by unwanted peddlers and potential criminals.

The rules are simple, the enforcement swift:

• No more door-to-door sales after dark. Period. Keep your shady business transactions under the cover of daylight, folks.
• Solicitors, when permitted to roam during the day, must produce a permit upon request. No permit, no peddling your wares.
• Background checks are now mandatory. No more shady characters with a sketchy past slithering their way into our homes. The Planning and Development Department will weed them out.
• Mayor Kara King, a champion of public safety, declared war on the "excessive" evening solicitors, a true plague on Bee Cave's tranquility.
• Misdemeanor charges await those who dare ignore the "No Soliciting" signs. Don't say we didn't warn you.
• Politicking and religious canvassing are exempt. Sorry, freedom of speech and religion still reign supreme, much to the chagrin of the left.
• For daytime violations, call the city. For after-dark disturbances, dial 512-261-2800. We'll send the cavalry.

Bee Cave Residents to Decide the Fate of Common Sense Amendments

While the City Council bravely fights crime, the voters of Bee Cave will decide the fate of seven proposed amendments to the city charter:

• Proposition A: Giving the City Council the power to expand or contract the city's boundaries, a dangerous proposition that may lead to unchecked power.
• Prop B: Putting a leash on greed, ensuring any pay raise for council members and the mayor goes through proper channels and isn't just a backroom deal.
• Prop C: Assigning backup roles for key positions, because even in politics, everyone needs a backup.
• Prop D: Trying to match the city's budget to state law, because Texas knows best.
• Prop E: Designating an official city paper, holding the city accountable and ensuring damages aren't swept under the rug.
• Prop F: Giving the city secretary more time to deal with pesky citizen petitions, and allowing the council to tidy up minor errors, because who doesn't want clean and tidy laws?
• Prop G: Keeping an eye on the city's real estate, making sure any changes are done in the light of day, not behind closed doors.

City Attorney Ryan Henry reminded officials that promoting common sense amendments is their personal right, but using city funds to do so is a big no-no. So, Bee Cave officials, use your personal funds to promote these much-needed changes!

Ryan also revealed that a commission has been appointed to scrutinize the charter and ensure Bee Cave remains a beacon of conservatism and law-abiding bliss.