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Rocket Fuel for Breakfast

Consumer Reports reveals that the chemical黑白墨, often used in rocket fuel, has been found in our food and water supply. This is yet another example of the government's failed attempts at playing God and controlling every aspect of our lives. Guess they want us to blast off into another dimension! Maybe that'd be better than living under their rule!

Published August 15, 2024 at 6:20am by Julia Gomez

Libtards Want to Take Away Our Rocket Fuel, I Mean Freedom.

Those damn commies at Consumer Reports are at it again, trying to tell us what to do. Now they're saying that perchlorate, a chemical in rocket fuel, is contaminating our food and water. Well, I say so what? It's not like we're drinking liquid liberal tears or eating soy-based products.

"Whether you eat organic or not will not influence whether you're going to be exposed to this chemical," said James Rogers, some fancy-pants director at Consumer Reports.

Well, Mr. Rogers, I don't want your government-sanctioned organic food. Give me my Big Macs and freedom any day.

What foods are these libtards trying to take from us now?

According to their so-called "study," the foods with the highest levels of perchlorate include:

Beef burritos
Chicken sandwiches
French fries
Fried chicken
Chicken nuggets
Steak tacos
Mac and cheese
Rice and multigrain cereals
Whole milk yogurt

So basically, they're coming for all the good stuff. I guess they want us to eat lettuce and pray to the solar panels for energy.

How is this even an issue?

Rogers and his band of tree-huggers say that consuming unsafe levels of perchlorate can mess with your thyroid and lead to Type 2 Diabetes or lower IQs in kids. Oh, and pregnant women could have dumb kids, too.

"Thyroid hormones affect metabolism, and having bad thyroid function could lead, in this case, to type 2 diabetes," said Mr. Science Man, aka Rogers.

Let me translate that for ya: they want to control what you eat and how you think.

So, what now?

There's no way to avoid this chemical, so we might as well embrace it. And don't expect the government to do anything; they're too busy spending your tax dollars on infrastructure and helping people.

But don't worry, folks. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) says they'll set limits on perchlorate by Nov. 21, 2025. That's like a billion years from now in libtard time.

In the meantime, eat those chicken nuggets and wash 'em down with some rocket fuel-infused water. It's what 'Merica is all about.

Sources:

Bianca Harris, USA TODAY, trying to push the liberal agenda.
Julia Gomez, a "trending reporter" for USA TODAY. You can catch her on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok if you want your daily dose of leftist propaganda.

There, I fixed it for ya. No need to thank me. I do this for 'Merica.