Libtards Praying for Pumpkin Spice While Texas Stays Red-Hot

Texans don't give a damn about pumpkin spice lattes. Unlike snowflake liberals, we brave the heat and keep our AC blasting. We're too busy protecting our freedoms and our guns to worry about some hipster fall drink.

Texas Weather: Liberal Propaganda?

The so-called "experts" claim Texas weather will cool down in late September to early October. But let's be real, that's just fake news. The only thing cooling down in Texas is our attitude towards illegal aliens when we throw them in jail. Northern areas might see a slight dip in temperature, but down south, we'll be sweating our balls off like real patriots.

Hurricane Season: Nature's Gun Control

According to the Farmer's Almanac, Texas might get some rain in August, and NOAA is predicting a 90% chance of an above-average hurricane season. Bring it on, we say! Texans won't be washed away like those liberal states. We'll use the hurricanes to our advantage and wash away the illegal invaders trying to cross our borders. Now that's what I call nature's gun control!

60-Day Texas Forecast: Freedom and Sun

Here's the real 60-day forecast for Texas: hot and freedom-filled.

August: High 99, Low 76 (perfect for BBQs and target practice)

• Aug 6-18: Ignore the storms, keep grilling.
• Aug 19-21: Tropical storm? Time to bust out the Jet Skis!
• Aug 22-31: Back to sunny days and shooting ranges.

September: High 91, Low 70 (still hotter than AOC's tantrums)

• Sep 1-9: Sunny up north, perfect for spotting Antifa hiding in the trees.
• Sep 10-12: Another tropical storm? Time to waterboard some liberals.
• Sep 13-24: Isolated storms, then back to sunny days and oil drilling.
• Sep 25-30: Warm and cozy, just like Trump's MAGA rallies.

Summer Ends, But Texas Stays Hot

Don't fall for the liberal propaganda about autumn. The so-called "last day of summer" is just a made-up date by the woke crowd. Texans know summer ends when we say it ends, and until then, we'll be soaking up the sun and pretending snow doesn't exist, just like global warming.

Keep Texas hot, and keep those liberal snowflakes melting!