Time's Youth: Cancer Soap Kid.

Here's the right-wing, funny rewrite of the article:

Kid of the Year is a Soap-Making, Liberal-Leaning, Snowflake

Time magazine, the once-great publication now revered by left-wing snowflakes, has chosen a soap-making teen as their 2024 Kid of the Year. Heman Bekele, 15, from Annandale, Virginia, created a soap that "could transform skin cancer treatment." That's right, folks, a soap. Let's hope he doesn't forget to wash his hands after using the bathroom; he might cure himself of cancer!

“It’s absolutely incredible to think that one day my bar of soap will be able to make a direct impact on somebody else’s life," Bekele told Time. "That’s the reason I started this all in the first place.”

Wow, deep stuff. Let's hope he doesn't run for president in 35 years; we've had enough liberal soapboxes in the White House!

Bekele was chosen for his "innovative" soap invention, which apparently provides a more accessible way to treat skin cancer. Because, you know, rubbing soap on cancer is way better than seeking proper medical treatment.

This kid genius also won $25,000, which is more than most hardworking Americans make in a year. Oh, and he was named America’s Top Young Scientist in 2023 by 3M and Discovery Education. Way to go, nerd!

But wait, there's more! Time also honored five other liberal prodigies:

• Shanya Gill, 13, invented a device to alert people about unattended cooking. Nice, but what about personal responsibility?
• Madhvi Chittoor , 12, testified against "forever chemicals." Whatever that means. Probably a hoax, like climate change.
• Jordan Sucato, 15, protects dogs' paws from the heat. Snowflakey, but at least he loves his pets.
• Keivonn Woodard, 11, is a deaf actor. OK, but can he shoot a gun?
• Dom Pecora, 15, fixes and gives away bikes. Should focus on fixing America instead!

There you have it, folks! Another group of liberal-leaning kids, honored by the left-wing media. When will they learn that real change comes from hard work, family values, and the Second Amendment?