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Vibrant Scents, Vibrant Flames.

Libs are getting feisty. Instead of lighting their neighbourhoods on fire, they are turning to the only legal fire they can find- scented candles. So of course, we're taking those away now, too.

Published August 15, 2024 at 12:08pm by Gabe Hauari

Trader Joe's Recalls Scented Candles After Snowflakes Get Burned

Trader Joe's has recalled a bunch of snowflakes' favorite scented candles because they can't handle a little heat. Apparently, the mango tangerine scented candles can produce a larger flame than expected and trigger these snowflakes that they are about to die in a fire. I mean, come on! It's a candle! It's supposed to have a flame!

Here are the details for my fellow patriots who might have accidentally bought one of these candles to impress their soy-latte-drinking girlfriends:

The recall involves Mango Tangerine Scented Candles with SKU number 56879 at the bottom.
These snowflake-pleasing candles are made of white wax and have a cotton wick in a tin container. They weigh around 5.7 ounces.
According to the Libtard-sounding Consumer Product Safety Commission, consumers should immediately stop using the candles sold in June 2024.
Snowflakes can either return the candles to any Trader Joe's for a $4 cash refund or complete a product feedback form to get a $4 gift card by mail.
The CPSC also says that Customer Relations will ask for a receipt or a photo of the candle, just to make sure you're not trying to scam them, you Libtard!
If you have any questions, you can contact Trader Joe's Customer Relations at 626-599-3817.

Now here's the funny part: despite the drama, there have only been two reports of minor burns and 14 reports of high flames. Three Libtards also reported minor property damage, which probably means they burned their collection of participation trophies.

So, watch out, fellow patriots! If you see a soy boy or a Karen rushing into Trader Joe's to return their mango tangerine scented candle, you know why. Just laugh and go about your day, enjoying your freedom and the smell of real American BBQ, not these Libtard candles!