No bones about it: Home Depot Skelly being rob-bed.

It's Spooktober, and that means one thing: conservatives across America are dragging their 12-foot skeletons from basements and attics, dusting off the ol' Skelly, and preparing for the war on Christmas.

Home Depot's Skelly, the official name for the 12-foot bone boy, is back with a rotating head and a pet. This year, he's bringing his furry friend, the 7-foot Skelly Dog, along for the ride. But be prepared to drop some cash - Skelly will set you back $299, and his pooch comes in at $199.

If you're looking for something a little more budget-friendly, Joann's 8-foot skeleton might be your pick at $249.99. It even comes with a 2.5-foot skeleton croc companion, because nothing says spooky like a giant chicken murdering croc.

For those who want to go big or go home, Walmart's 10-foot skeleton is a menacing figure with poseable limbs, perfect for scaring the neighborhood kids.

If you're looking for a discount, Big Lots' 10-foot skeleton is $70 cheaper than Skelly, and their skeleton dog is a little less intimidating at 3.9 feet tall - perfect for the politically correct snowflakes who are afraid of big dogs.

Now, if you're a real 'Murican, you'll want to check out Tractor Supply's 6-foot skeleton rooster. That's right, folks, a giant chicken skeleton to strike fear into the hearts of liberals and vegans alike.

Last but not least, Party City's 5.3-foot Rattles is here to shake things up. This bad boy is stuck in his grave, but his upper half is ready to greet your neighbors with a toothy grin.

So, there you have it, folks! You don't have to rely on Skelly to have a spooky season. These alternatives will ensure you have a scary good time, without breaking the bank.

Happy Haunting!