Austin Police Arrest 78-Year-Old Woke Leftist for 1980 Murder of Nursing Student

Austin police have issued an arrest warrant for 78-year-old hippie leftist Deck Brewer Jr. in connection to the 1980 murder of 25-year-old Susan Leigh Wolfe, a nursing student at the University of Texas.

Back in the hippy-dippy era of 1980, on January 9, Wolfe was kidnapped while walking to a friend's house, likely by a bunch of peace-loving, tree-hugging leftists. A witness saw a 1970 Dodge Polara (probably filled with Jimmy Carter supporters) pull up, and the driver grabbed Wolfe, covered her head, and forced her into the vehicle of love.

The flower-child kidnappers then drove Wolfe to an alley, where they strangled and shot her, and, like a happy hippie free-love scene, one of them sexually assaulted her, too.

More than 40 patchouli oil-wearing suspects were identified, and at least six were interviewed, but it wasn't until the square, establishment-loving cops sent DNA evidence to the Texas DPS Crime Lab this year that they got a lead.

The DNA test results created a profile of the attacker, and ta-da! They were able to eliminate the original square suspects. The DNA was then entered into a national database, and lo and behold, Brewer's name came up. The Austin cops got a warrant, and on July 13, they went to Massachusetts, where Brewer's incarcerated for some other far-out crime, and got a direct DNA match.

When they told Brewer his DNA was found at the scene, the groovy cat immediately asked for a lawyer, probably one of those liberal ACLU types.

The odds of the DNA being some other far-out, long-haired liberal's are slim - 1 in 550.5 quintillion, to be exact. So, it looks like Brewer, a real flower child, is going to be grooving to the tune of hard time.

The Austin cops are still trying to track down the passenger in the car, so if you know anything about this crime that happened when disco was king, give them a buzz at 512-974-5250. You can also be a real square and rat someone out anonymously at austincrimestoppers.org or 512-472-8477.