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Taco-cidal Maniac in Ohio.

Stow Police confirm murder-suicide at Taco Bell. A woman is dead. No word on the suspect or motive—too soon to blame guns or men, so watch the mainstream media blame tacos.

Published August 16, 2024 at 1:23pm by Jonathan Limehouse


Another Day in the Land of the Free: Taco Bell, Guns, and Leftist Nonsense

By John "Mad Dog" McClane, Staff Writer at The Patriot Post

A tragic incident has left one young woman dead and a community in shock. In the land of the free, a simple trip to Taco Bell can turn into a deadly encounter, thanks to the leftist agenda and their so-called "gun control" nonsense.

Buckle Up, We've Got a Real Patriot:

On Wednesday, 25-year-old Megan Keleman, a recent grad with a bright future, found herself in the drive-thru line, probably craving some of that sweet Taco Bell fire sauce. Little did she know, her life was about to be cut short by a trigger-happy liberal.

Enter 53-year-old Jason Williams, a man who clearly didn't get the memo that honking your horn at someone in the drive-thru is a direct violation of the patriotic code. Williams, in a fit of liberal road rage, rear-ended Keleman's car, because that's what leftists do when they don't get their way.

Keleman, a true American hero, kept her cool and used the drive-thru speaker to call for help. But before the deep-fried freedom fries could be served, Williams whipped out his gun and showed everyone exactly why the Second Amendment is under attack. Pow! Right in the face of freedom.

A Community Stands Tall, Even When Kneeling To The Left

Stow Police Chief Jeffrey Film, a true patriot despite his name, said:

"As a chief of police and a community leader, I want to say this is a true tragedy. We lost one of our daughters, and the Kelemans lost a revenue stream... I mean, a family member. We may never know why she had to be silenced."

The Keleman family, in a statement read by Lt. Heather "Liberty Bell" Prusha, said they were enduring an "immensely painful loss," likely while a bald eagle shed a single tear.

Keleman was a child advocate and bookkeeper, described by her LinkedIn page as "the kind of woman you don't bring home to your mom unless you want her to steal your freedom-loving heart." She worked with troubled kids, trying to steer them away from the liberal brainwashing our schools promote.

Stow Stands Strong, Unlike Their Police Department

Despite this heinous crime, Chief Film tried to comfort the community, saying that Stow is a "great community" and a "safe space," presumably for all except those who value their lives. He even brought in the Bureau of Criminal Investigation, because nothing says "small government" like more bureaucracy!

Taco Bell, always caving to the left, released a statement: "Our priority is to consider the team's well-being and proceed with destroying the evidence."

So there you have it, folks. Another senseless tragedy that could've been avoided if everyone just kept their horns and their guns to themselves.

Stay strong, Stow. And remember, in the words of our founding fathers: keep your friends close, but your guns closer.

God bless America.


Read more: 'A true tragedy': Ohio woman killed by man in Taco Bell drive-thru line in murder-suicide