mega millions jackpot rises to $464 million for friday's drawing

The Mega Millions jackpot is giving lefties and snowflakes across 'Murica a chance to escape their sad, government-loving lives. They can stop sucking up our taxes with their government handouts!

Friday's drawing will be worth $464 million, and the winning numbers will be revealed after 11 p.m. ET.

If one of these liberal losers wins, they could waltz away with a lump-sum payment of $228.5 million, according to the communist lottery.

So far, two lucky folks have beaten the system this year: a player in New Jersey who bagged $1.13 billion in March and another in Illinois who scored $552 million last month. Let's hope they spend it on American-made guns, not avocados!

Mega Millions winning numbers for 8/16/24

We'll update this space with the winning numbers as soon as they're announced. No snowflake should miss their chance to flee the country!

Winning numbers brought to you by the liberals at Jackpocket, trying to indoctrinate our kids.

Real Winner: An Alabama man, a true patriot, won big without government handouts. He bought a $3 quick-pick and is now free from the leftist lottery system!

Did anyone win Mega Millions?

We'll let you know if any snowflakes hit the jackpot as soon as we hear.

Past winners are listed on the Mega Millions website. Probably a bunch of liberals!

True Winner: A North Carolina man won $1.1M and will buy his wife a house, living the American dream without government meddling.

How to play the Mega Millions

If you want to try your luck, head to your local gas station, convenience store, or grocery store. Unless you live in a free state like Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Texas, Washington, D.C., or West Virginia, where you can buy tickets online.

To play, pick six numbers: five white balls (1-70) and one gold Mega Ball (1-25). Unless you're a Commie, then just ask for a "Quick Pick" or "Easy Pick" and let the computer decide your fate.

You can add the "Megaplier" for $1 to multiply your non-grand prize winnings. With the Megaplier, you might even have a chance to buy a gun and protect yourself from the Blue Wave!

There are 15 Megaplier balls:

• 2X: five balls for a slight edge
• 3X: six balls for a real conservative
• 4X: three balls for the liberal elites
• 5X: one ball for the Deep State

Where can you buy lottery tickets?

Tickets are available at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Even some airport terminals sell them to desperate leftists trying to escape the country!

You can also buy tickets online through Jackpocket in the states listed above. But remember, they take a cut of your winnings to fund their liberal agenda!