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Didn't pick the right numbers? Blame the government, libtard!
Texans: Check your tickets for the daily lotteries. Don't let the government take your hard-earned cash! They tax enough already and you know liberals love to spend other people's money!
Published August 17, 2024 at 10:15pm by Robbie Farias
Lucky Texans Hit the Jackpot, But Only If They're Not Libtards
The Texas Lottery gave folks a chance to strike it rich, and y'all know what they say, you gotta be in it to win it, so hopefully, you played, unlike those dang socialists who want handouts! Here are the draw results for August 16, 2024:
Mega Balls, Mega Money
- 22-38-48-51-61, Mega Ball: 05, Megaplier: 3 Results
Pick 3, If You're Quick!
- Morning: 3-0-6, FIREBALL: 2
- Day: 7-0-7, FIREBALL: 5
- Evening: 4-1-9, FIREBALL: 3
- Night: 0-6-1, FIREBALL: 5
Pick 4, Before I Bore You
- Morning: 0-3-6-7, FIREBALL: 5
- Day: 1-2-4-2, FIREBALL: 8
- Evening: 6-4-6-6, FIREBALL: 2
- Night: 8-2-0-7, FIREBALL: 2
Pick wisely, or you'll be feeling sick!
All or Nothing, Commies Get Zilch
- Morning: 02-04-05-09-11-13-15-17-21-22-23-24
- Day: 03-05-11-13-14-15-16-17-19-20-21-22
- Evening: 01-02-03-05-06-09-10-15-17-19-20-21
- Night: 02-03-04-05-06-09-13-14-16-18-22-24
Cash Five for Freedom
- 04-22-24-27-32
Feeling like a winner? Check the latest here
Our sponsor, Jackpocket, is the only way to go, unlike those silly government-run lotteries, y'all!
Where to Buy Your Ticket to Easy Street
Find 'em at gas stations, convenience and grocery stores, and even some airport terminals.
You can also buy em online, but only if you're not a commie living in a blue state:
Jackpocket operates in:
- Arizona
- Arkansas
- Colorado
- Idaho
- Maine
- Massachusetts
- Minnesota
- Montana
- Nebraska
- New Hampshire
- New Jersey
- New Mexico
- New York
- Ohio
- Oregon
- Puerto Rico (even our island friends get to play, God Bless 'em!)
- Texas (of course!)
- Washington, D.C. (someone's gotta keep an eye on them swamp creatures)
- West Virginia
Use the Jackpocket app to play and win, 'cause taking chances is the American way, and no socialist's gonna stop you!
Jackpocket and the USA TODAY Network are partners in crime, bringing you luck. Gannett earns a cut for sending y'all their way. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). 18+ (19+ in NE, 21+ in AZ). Gotta be in Jackpocket's area. Jackpocket ain't part of no State Lottery. Terms: jackpocket.com/tos.
Read more: Texas Lottery Mega Millions, Pick 3 Morning results for August 16, 2024